By Kevin Sugarman
Yes, I’m back with my latest entry for the “tool of the month” blog. It probably won’t come as a shock that we have two winners this month – both were so outstanding that I could not differentiate between them and will give them equal time in the blog.
Our first tool comes from the great state of Nebraska. Tom Larvie, 35, recently had 10 misdemeanor counts filed against him, nine of which were for public indecency – this fact would already make Tom a winner in this blog, as I wasn’t even aware that there were nine different ways a person could be indecent in public. The good people of Valentine actually don’t know Tom by his given name, but instead simply know him as the “The Butt Bandit”. You see, Tom “The Butt Bandit” Larvie has been terrorizing the people of Valentine since the spring of 2007 by, and I quote, “Leaving greasy, graphic imprints of his naked behind, and sometimes his groin, on the windows of stores, churches and schools.” I know what you’re wondering, “greasy”? I have your answer; it appears that Tom lathered himself in lotion and petroleum jelly before each of his little adventures.


